John-Michael Gariepy

Archive for the tag “Card Game”

Kittens in a Blender: I’m mixed-up. Does this game gel?

Today I was at Myriad Games and a demo of Kittens in a Blender dropped on the table.

This kitten's name is Pancake. Pancake is not a food, he's a kitten. Please, please, do not think about whipping up some pancake batter.

Yes.  Yes.  I know.

It is likely that the Myriad Games Podcast will never do a review of Kittens in a Blender.  The reason why is because it is a game about putting kittens in blenders.  Cute, adorable kittens.  Kittens that you want to bring home and feed wet cat food to, and flip out when the wet cat food comes out the other end on your carpet, but definately do not want anywhere near various household appliances.  Specifically, the blender.

But the real reason why we may never make a podcast out of this game is because of
something you can’t witness while we talk about the game: the spectacular artwork.  The kittens look so lovable, that no one wants to see them anywhere near a blender.   It would be a terrible tragedy; The kind that keeps people a little panicky and invested in a game.  Had these cats been a bit more cartoony, or crass, this wouldn’t work.  Had the cats looked like rejects from the Ren & Stimpy show, the decision to obliterate them wouldn’t be so harrowing.  We’d want those cats to die horrible deaths, then feel bad about ourselves as human being for wanting such a horrible thing.  But no one wants to destroy the life of such cute kittens.  Not your kittens.  Other people’s kittens, sure…

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Whack a Catgirl: The Zany, Madca- Oh God, I can’t do this…

[Like ‘Aquarius’, ‘Whack a Catgirl’ gave Guilt Free Games a lot of Google hits for things that had nothing to do with the game.  Unlike ‘Aquarius’, people weren’t innocently looking for pictures of David Hasselhoff in a speedo, staring into your soul.  They were looking for things that would make hardened life-sentence prisoners blush.  Still, if a pack of weirdos looking for prOn on the internets ended up reading my card game review, who am I to argue?]

This review was originally posted at Guilt-Free-Games.com.

I mean, there are so many levels of nerdiness associated with this: The Japanese obsession with teenage girls, The American misunderstanding and glorification of everything Japanese, Furries, and let’s not forget that we’re still talking about a card game… heck, I’m writing a game REVIEW on the subject. My understanding of the Japanese language is limited, but I’m pretty sure that this is as ‘Otaku’ as it gets.*

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