John-Michael Gariepy

Archive for the tag “Khaaan!!!”

Star Trek: Pandemic

This review was originally posted at

Captain’s Log. Stardate 8132.4:

My crew and I have been captured by an alien presence calling himself a ‘board game reviewer’. This obtuse interloper claims that he is “writing an article about playing board games solo,” and has recruited us to help him. Spock argued with the mad reviewer that, if we are helping him, then, he is, in fact, not playing solo. The garrulous alien said that this was not so, since my crew and I were part of his imagination. We have decided to play along with this god-like being for now, until an opportunity arises for our escape.

The alien has transported us to the late 20th, early 21st century. We have been sent back in time to this period so often, I should buy a summer home. Unfortunately, my team has no time for lounging, since the planet has been seized by Pandemic. Four apocalyptic diseases infect the globe, and my team must find the cure for them, then inoculate the citizenry. The conceit that four individuals could perform such a goliath task is slim, but my team is one of the best. I, Captain James T. Kirk will take the role of Operations Expert. Mr. Spock will be our Field Researcher. Dr. McCoy has gladly accepted the role of Medic, and Lieutenant Chekov has taken the role of Dispatcher. Read more…

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