Which player token should you use? No choice in the game of Monopoly is more crucial than this one. The pawn you represent yourself with tells other players who you are, and what kind of strategy you will employ to seek victory. Choose poorly, and other players will greet your trades with skepticism and scorn. Choose wisely, and your play group will seek to trade commodities with you for little more than a smile. Choose The Thimble, and the other players will snarl, snatching the game pieces back, slamming the box lid shut and insisting that you leave.
This top list is for The Classic Monopoly game, only. I refuse to list and examine every permutation of every Monopoly game and game variant’s token. So that means we will pretend that Monopoly didn’t have three tokens pulled from the core game in 1950 (A Lantern, A Purse and A Rocking Horse). We’re also unimpressed with the Koala that only appears in Australian versions, the Locamotive, which only appeared in the Deluxe Edition, or the token remakes for Monopoly: Here and Now. We’re also not here to discuss which of the Ninja Turtles was the greatest (That would be Donatello), or who is the most awesome character hanging out at the G.I. Joe home base (That was a trick question. The answer is: Zartan in disguise). Back in my day, we used to have eleven player tokens, and they were not created equal.
The Thimble is the lowest of the low. If someone you don’t like asks you to play a game of Monopoly, there’s no better way to insult them than to say, “Sure! I’ll take ‘The Thimble!'” You could grab the box out of their hands, rip it in half, toss both halves out the window, punch that jerk in the face, then storm out of his building. But if you did that, the hated gamer might sit down, confused by your actions. By claiming ‘The Thimble’, however, you’ve sent a clear message: I don’t respect you as a human being.